The Quotes Collective

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

"I like to pick-up hitchhikers so I can take them to the edge of town."
"...to kill them?
-- Maddy & Kellie


:: Kellie 7/21/2004 05:02:00 PM [+] ::

"You can't be gay without a beard."
-- Ryan Brewer

:: Kellie 6/24/2004 11:40:00 PM [+] ::

"When you start sucking the black, you'll know it."
-- Prof. Saeger, Tech Production

"What does boy taste like?"
"Like warm apple pie!"
-- Lindsay & Chelsea

"PAY-ATTENTION-TO-ME!-PAY-ATTENTION-TO-ME!"
"Wow. You really are a Theatre Major."
-- Kellie & Sharon

"What a stupid ho."
"She's not a ho. If she was a ho, I would respect her."
-- Kellie, Chelsea (of... someone...)

"Punk ass bitch!"
"That's not very nice!"
"It's okay, because I like to TWIRL!"
-- Dan and Kellie

:: Kellie 6/22/2004 05:55:00 PM [+] ::

"NOTHING'S FUN UNLESS I'M IN CHARGE OF IT."
-- Kellie

:: Kellie 4/19/2004 01:42:00 PM [+] ::

"That's so last semester!"
-- Danny T.

"She's alive, let's have a hoedown!"
-- Chris T.

"Where is the love?" (Kellie opens her mouth wide and makes gagging sounds.) "You swallowed the love?!?"
"Actually, I'm choking on it right now!"
-- Joe & Kellie

"If you don't occasionally contemplate suicide, you're just not paying attention."
-- Prof. Dietrich

"You can walk around naked. You can have sex with whoever you want. If you can talk them into it, so be it!"
-- Prof. Dietrich

"George W. Bush is the embodiment of America: a flaming hypocrite."
-- Prof. Dietrich

"Even bad sex is great sex... sex is probably the best argument for God... but never mind that..."
-- Prof. Dietrich, Philosophy

joyofmoo: Bradnon says Fridays
joyofmoo: hehe I just realized I called him Bradnon
joyofmoo: very space age don't you think?
joyofmoo: you know, like BRADNON, defender of the galaxies, or the evil overlord BRADNON

"In grammar class today, I introduced myself as "R.J., and I are here to learn to speak good." The teacher was frightened for a few seconds (being from Turkey, where they don't have sarcasm), until she got clued in to that I was kidding."
-- R.J.

"I've decided that if Watterson is ever going to become Weird-Person-Friendly (read: intelligent), somebody is going to have to start talking to strangers in elevators."
-- R.J.

"Aren't they cute? Let's pinch them."
"I'll fight you for the Italian gigolo."
"I don't want him. I want the big, puffy Jew."
-- Amanda and Kellie

:: Kellie 2/27/2004 12:45:00 PM [+] ::

"Silly people with their..."
"Delusions?"
"...Hope."
-- Megan the Red and Kellie

:: Kellie 1/09/2004 02:38:00 AM [+] ::

"Ha! It's my fuzzy dildo, now!"
-- Julie Fisher

:: Kellie 12/05/2003 01:30:00 PM [+] ::

(Storming out) "Enjoy your milinery shop!"
"It has two men in it, I'm going to enjoy it a lot!"
"Excuse me, you promised me the young one."
"I think we can pass him around."
"SWEET!"
-- Dan Mian, Meredith, Sarah, Meredith, and Chad (the young one).

"There are several places in the polka where I could be yelling PUDDING-PUDDING-PUDDING!"
-- Chris R.

"She keeps avoiding me and breaking into song!"
-- Danny T.

"This is a musical! No one gets angry!"
-- Anne

"Just think about it - they've got a fucking stuffed whale!"
-- Anne

:: Kellie 10/31/2003 01:13:00 PM [+] ::

"There is no I in drunk."
-- Josh Weckesser

:: Kellie 9/19/2003 01:10:00 PM [+] ::

"I think Zeus appeared to me in a dream and gave me herpes."
-- Carolyn

:: Kellie 9/11/2003 12:11:00 AM [+] ::

"The shell with you... fucker."
-- Chris

:: Kellie 9/06/2003 08:18:00 PM [+] ::

"I'm sweet as fucking pie."
-- K@

"That's the condom that was on my head!"
-- Stephanie

:: Kellie 8/13/2003 04:30:00 PM [+] ::

"It was really funny, in that Making-Kellie-Cry kind of way..."
-- Seth

:: Kellie 7/03/2003 12:04:00 AM [+] ::

"Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong Messiah."
-- Lauren

"I-I-I-I'm a tight package!"
-- Lauren

"Actually, right now, we're talking about pubic hair."
-- Bob

:: Kellie 7/01/2003 09:22:00 PM [+] ::

"Eat my hot, steel phallus."
-- Kevin (my boss; playing Morrowind)

:: Anonymous 6/24/2003 03:37:00 PM [+] ::

"Can't help that sodomy!"
-- Kellie (after Dan misheard the lyric, "Can't help that side of me.")

:: Kellie 6/19/2003 01:33:00 PM [+] ::

"Playstation + Gameboy = Playboy"
-- Cori

:: Anonymous 6/15/2003 05:49:00 PM [+] ::

"You know, you're cute when you're ripping off corporate America."
-- Matt (to Cori)

:: Anonymous 6/10/2003 08:26:00 AM [+] ::

"It would benefit me most to lay this motherfucker down."
-- Dan

:: Kellie 5/30/2003 12:32:00 PM [+] ::

"You raper of... nipples."
-- Cori

"If the shoe fits, fuck it."
-- Cori

:: Anonymous 5/09/2003 08:16:00 PM [+] ::

"I'd kiss it, but I'd get blue on my face... so I won't."
-- Prof. O'Leary Johnson, talking about an over-head transparency.

"Yeah, if the course goals were DEATH!"
-- Liz James (filling out our ENG 100 course evaluations)

:: Kellie 4/26/2003 12:22:00 PM [+] ::

"That was an interesting response from your pants."
-- Cori to Matt

:: Anonymous 4/17/2003 04:05:00 PM [+] ::

"Ooooh! I just found a bag of crack on the subway! Score!"
-- Liz

:: Kellie 4/11/2003 04:12:00 PM [+] ::

"I could dress like a monkey... would that work?"
-- Jim

"My acting teacher told me to act like a rabbit, but I thought she said rabbi."
-- Julie J.

"He was all good and Godly and English..."
-- Mike

"His father was male?"
-- Julie J.

:: Kellie 4/10/2003 01:33:00 PM [+] ::

"I don't know Matt when he's naked."
-- Dan

:: Anonymous 4/04/2003 04:27:00 PM [+] ::

"I'll just go over here and play with my phallic-looking chalk... Well, look at it!"
-- Prof. Huff

"I don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public."
-- Pete G.

:: Kellie 4/03/2003 10:41:00 AM [+] ::

"Should I kiss it and make it better?"
"Yes!!!"
"Ugh."
- Cori, Matt (Don't ask)

"Ahh!!! I can't see! Too many balls are covering up my face!"
- Cori

:: Anonymous 3/29/2003 11:14:00 PM [+] ::

"Why are we all getting C's? Because that's the mean!"
-- Julie (relating a conversation between herself and a teacher who lived by the Bell Curve)

:: Kellie 3/26/2003 08:36:00 PM [+] ::

"Corn dogs are just deep-fat-fried bread surrounding meat whose origin is suspect."
"Oh, so they're like Phi Rhos."
-- Matt, Cori

:: Anonymous 3/22/2003 12:48:00 PM [+] ::

"Don't you like to watch boys scream?"
-- Megan Dougherty

:: Kellie 3/20/2003 12:43:00 AM [+] ::

"When you invent your own fun, it's boring."
-- Dan (to Kellie, who was bored and started programming phone numbers into her phone)

:: Kellie 3/14/2003 12:10:00 PM [+] ::

"I'm bendable! OH YEAH! I'm a Barbie!"
-- Cori

"There are things that are bendable that aren't Barbie."
"Like Phi Rho's, right?"
"Yeah, Phi Rho's get bent quite often."
-- Dan and Cori

:: Anonymous 3/09/2003 09:26:00 PM [+] ::

"Country full of raging sluts is what we are! ...LORD! We're going to Hell in a handbasket! ...No glove, no love, people!"
-- Prof. O'Leary-Johnson

"I can't believe my math teacher just called us raging sluts."
-- Julie Janus

:: Kellie 3/03/2003 05:26:00 PM [+] ::

"She ate my banana and now she thinks she knows me."
"Half your banana."
-- Ben & Kellie

:: Kellie 3/02/2003 11:40:00 PM [+] ::

"Don't make me open-mouth kiss you!"
-- Dan (to Seth. It's funny 'cause Dan has mono.)

:: Kellie 2/24/2003 09:37:00 AM [+] ::

"I can still conjugate like a muthafucker."
-- Mike Schmuck

:: Kellie 2/20/2003 03:09:00 PM [+] ::

"Let's see if we can electrocute me."
-- Prof. O'Leary-Johnson

"When I was little, my life was tranquil and happy. Now, my life is Hell, because I have students like you."
-- Spanish substitute teacher

:: Kellie 2/13/2003 10:44:00 PM [+] ::

"You can annotate me anytime."
-- Julie Janus

:: Kellie 2/11/2003 02:28:00 PM [+] ::

"Your mom's a sign. A sign of impending doom."
"More like, 'No Tresspassing On Penalty of Whining.'"
-- Kellie and Seth

:: Kellie 2/01/2003 12:21:00 AM [+] ::

"Will you massage my uterus?"
-- Cori to Matt

:: Anonymous 1/31/2003 01:08:00 AM [+] ::

"...And we're not black, we're just gay!"
-- Maggie Moran (explaining why liberals still go to Denny's)

:: Kellie 1/28/2003 12:53:00 PM [+] ::

"Dressing up is against my religion. Jesus didn't have to wear heels, and neither should I."
-- Whitney

"Josh wants to do Two Gay Guys."
-- Kellie (followed immediately by hysterical laughter, proving once again that context is everything.)

:: Kellie 1/13/2003 12:40:00 PM [+] ::

"You're so disappointed in me! It's funny!"
-- Dan (to Kellie)

"They weren't in Hell, they were in a bucket-thing."
-- Dan (of No Exit vs. The Twilight Zone)

"Are we a Hell-mouth? Who knows?"
-- Dan (of Iowa)

:: Kellie 12/20/2002 10:59:00 PM [+] ::

"I like my tongue the way it is."
"Me too."
-- Megan Dougherty, Kellie

"I wear pants a lot."
-- Kellie

"You can call her it when you get here."
-- Kellie

:: Kellie 12/04/2002 12:45:00 AM [+] ::

"As long as it's shiny, I'm satisfied."
-- Dan

"I totally love men way more than you!"
-- Megan V. to Maggie M.

"Why don't we just shag around and do what we want, like goats?"
-- Paul Morris

"That's the crazy shit that goes down."
-- Maggie M.

"Never eat shredded wheat... northwest."
-- Paul Morris

"There are these four guys who all want to marry Cynthia. Do they all get to vote?"
-- Prof. Gorr

"My teacher just said 'Deep Throat!' ...I love college."
-- Kellie

:: Kellie 11/26/2002 02:48:00 PM [+] ::

"I'm gonna stamp out them dirty Communists."
-- Prof. Gorr

:: Kellie 11/18/2002 04:04:00 PM [+] ::

"I just can't take it when he talks about young girls and beer."
-- Anonymous Girl who sat behind us at The Crucible.

:: Kellie 11/10/2002 04:41:00 PM [+] ::

"Let's assume cows are not morally equal to humans."
-- Prof. Gorr

"100 people form the C-MOR - the Coalition to Make Ourselves Rich."
-- Prof. Gorr

"Let's talk about the domestic shoe industry."
-- Prof. Gorr

"I guess they're called private goods."
-- Prof. Gorr

:: Kellie 11/06/2002 03:11:00 PM [+] ::

"People don't spit enough."
-- ISU Steph (not Krimmer)

:: Kellie 11/05/2002 06:40:00 PM [+] ::

"There's a Romantic Idea with a Vengeance!"
-- Prof. Rutter

"Go get your body waxed!"
-- Ron (Guerilla Leader)

:: Kellie 10/30/2002 03:52:00 PM [+] ::

"What's with GLTBQ issues? They're so gay!"
-- Dan (mocking)

"Alf isn't even real."
-- Dr. Beck (FOI professor)

:: Kellie 10/28/2002 10:32:00 AM [+] ::

"I don't mean to completely echo Kellie's sentiments, but I share so many of them- Patriarchy makes me want to hit people."
-- Megan D.

:: Kellie 10/20/2002 01:28:00 PM [+] ::

"I swear...on my way home, I heard God scoffing at me."
-- Peter James Zielinski in his journal.

"Their job wasn't to make out with the King anymore, they were too old. So they looked after the sex-slaves."
-- Paul, with his ever-present British accent

:: Kellie 10/18/2002 04:25:00 PM [+] ::

"Most men are merely seamen."
-- Prof. Gorr (might be funnier once you say it out loud.)

"Get the hell out of here and get a nice job doing something."
-- Prof. Gorr

"They have neatly colored eyes."
-- Prof. Gorr

"I used to be pro-animal rights. Then I had to write a paper about it for FOI. Now, I say, nuke 'em all."
-- Erin G.

:: Kellie 10/16/2002 06:17:00 PM [+] ::

"In the great fuzzy world of relativism..."
-- Girl from History Class

:: Kellie 10/15/2002 10:24:00 PM [+] ::

"At least in theory, I know more about this stuff than you."
-- Prof. Gorr

:: Kellie 10/14/2002 05:50:00 PM [+] ::

"Lutheranism is an evil religion, and we're not going to have any more Lutherans."
-- Prof. Gorr

"Como es cat-tail?
-- Dan

:: Kellie 10/09/2002 03:54:00 PM [+] ::

"Do you talk to your fish when I'm not here?"
-- Kellie, to Dan

:: Kellie 10/08/2002 10:32:00 PM [+] ::

"I'll tell you something about church! I'll stab you with this pencil!"
-- Loud Girl in Watterson Food Court

"I love the Spanish Channel for it's women!"
-- Guy in the room across from Dan's

"I learned to comprehend when I was fuckin' born."
-- Karissa

:: Kellie 10/07/2002 04:03:00 PM [+] ::

"I'll never be able to look at an orange peeler the same way again."
-- Seth

"I'm a family guy with family goddamned values!"
-- Dan

"That's a nice ball of meat you've got there."
"Why, thank you."
-- Nate and his mom

"Smart people know stuff."
-- Prof. Otis

"You haven't seen me on drugs yet."
-- Prof. Otis

:: Kellie 10/02/2002 07:28:00 PM [+] ::

"I don't get it. What do pants have to do with betrayal?"
-- Kellie

:: Kellie 9/27/2002 05:31:00 PM [+] ::

"Something went badly wrong."
-- Mike Gorr, Philosophy Professor

"The birds are birding, the trees are treeing..."
-- Richard Rutter, English Professor

"Spring is a kind of horny time of year..."
-- Paul Morris, English T.A., who is incidentally very British.

"That was easy then, wasn't it? Chaucer? Put that away."
-- Paul, when there were no questions about The Miller's Tale.

"Shut your face and go away."
-- Paul - in rather hostile British accent.

:: Kellie 9/23/2002 06:23:00 PM [+] ::

"They're so married, it's sick."
-- Renata (of Andrew & Molly)

"At some point, Big Bird had to pump water from a pump."
-- Renata

:: Kellie 9/22/2002 12:45:00 PM [+] ::

"You don't have larvae crawling around inside you-"
"Oh, God, spaghetti..."
-- Dan and Katie

:: Kellie 9/14/2002 06:37:00 PM [+] ::

"GRRRR HUNGRY. Mmmmm... children..."
-- Hayley

:: Kellie 9/12/2002 08:32:00 PM [+] ::

"...And if you ever marry Seth, I'm eating your babies. Or his leg."
-- Nate

:: Kellie 9/11/2002 12:05:00 AM [+] ::

"They're a perverse set of rules, but what the hell? I'm the king, and it amuses me to play these games."
"That is feudalism at its best."
-- Michael Gorr (Kellie's Philosophy Professor) and Kellie

:: Kellie 9/06/2002 04:25:00 PM [+] ::

"It's like if fun or joy were soup..."
--Seth

:: Kellie 9/04/2002 01:10:00 PM [+] ::

"I'll have you be-headed... unless you bake me cookies."
"That is feudalism at it's best."
-- Steve and Seth

:: Kellie 9/02/2002 02:45:00 AM [+] ::

"Everyone else in the ocean was doing it!"
-- Megan Dougherty

:: Kellie 8/30/2002 09:53:00 PM [+] ::

"Hey, Steve, what did we decide my computer was?"
(Pause.) "My bitch...?"
-- Kellie and Steve

:: Kellie 8/24/2002 06:23:00 PM [+] ::

"Not just estrogen. Angry estrogen."
-- Dan

:: Kellie 8/23/2002 09:49:00 AM [+] ::

"I'd be like, 'Push-ups? What the hell is this? I'm gay!"
-- Anonymous (take a guess)

:: Kellie 8/21/2002 12:10:00 AM [+] ::

"That is one happy monkey."
-- Angela

"I'll be like, AUGH! I'm your mini-fridge!"
-- Steve

:: Kellie 8/15/2002 01:04:00 AM [+] ::

"Did you say Seth's a plague?"
-- Dan (to Kellie)

:: Kellie 8/02/2002 04:08:00 PM [+] ::

"Heh. I talked to a cat."
-- Dan

:: Kellie 7/24/2002 10:44:00 AM [+] ::

"Ha! This girl's maiden name was Panic!"
-- One of Kellie's Co-Workers

:: Kellie 7/23/2002 10:44:00 AM [+] ::

"GET ON THE SIDEWALK!"
-- Steve, to a biker, as we drove through a cornfield.

:: Kellie 7/17/2002 11:36:00 PM [+] ::

"I wasn't even thinking about magical feet!"
-- Dan

:: Kellie 7/17/2002 01:49:00 PM [+] ::

"Would you rather meet Matt, or eat pancakes?"
-- Kellie

"You're such a peach! That makes total sense!"
-- Kellie

:: Kellie 7/15/2002 02:18:00 PM [+] ::

"I wish you could sleep with people without having them move in."
-- Steve

"Cancel! Cancel! For-the-love-of-God-cancel!"
-- Steve

:: Kellie 7/04/2002 04:02:00 PM [+] ::

kellie rai: Besides, thought you were the boy with no secrets.
The White Stick: I grew up. Now I'm the man with secrets, baby. :-P
kellie rai: Great, you outgrew logic. Good for you.

"There was a time, we were at Barnes and Noble..."
"You don't have to explain."
"GOOD!"
-- Dan and Steve

:: Kellie 6/29/2002 11:49:00 AM [+] ::

"You've screwed me up for life."
"I'm your mother, that's my job."
-- Michelle and Kellie

(whining) "I'm Gay Uncle Dan..."
-- Dan

:: Kellie 6/29/2002 06:07:00 AM [+] ::

"Oh, so I shouldn't pay any attention to your opinion?"
-- Dan, to Kellie

:: Kellie 6/25/2002 05:02:00 PM [+] ::

kellie rai: I better go son.
kellie rai: *soon!
Sirithlothien: haha
Sirithlothien: that's ok, dad

:: Kellie 6/24/2002 11:38:00 PM [+] ::

"That's on my to-do list... grow boobs."
-- Nate

"Talk to me when you have Sprite gushing through your nasal cavity!"
-- Dan

:: Kellie 6/24/2002 10:13:00 AM [+] ::

"Porn..."
"How do they do it?"
-- Kellie & Jessica

:: Kellie 6/12/2002 11:47:00 AM [+] ::

"What do you do?"
"I'm snapping."
"I was talking to the bowl..."
"...Crazy..."
"Ohhhh! It keeps the flies away!"
-- Kellie and Dan

:: Kellie 6/02/2002 06:36:00 AM [+] ::

"Hi, you've reached 827- Oh, shit."
-- Kellie's Mom, trying to record new outgoing message on Kellie's machine.

"Hi, you've reached 268-****. No one's here to get a message - Aw, goddamn."
-- Kellie's Mom, Attempt #2.

:: Kellie 5/26/2002 12:31:00 PM [+] ::

"I don't like it, but those hicks are making me rich."
-- Justin Lomelino

"Are you kidding? Webpages are the best thing on the Internet!"
-- Kellie

:: Kellie 5/15/2002 09:11:00 AM [+] ::

"If your mic isn't working, EAT IT!"
-- Mrs. Corpus

:: Kellie 5/13/2002 12:51:00 PM [+] ::

"Math and wrath rhyme! Do you think that's a coincidence?"
-- Renata

"You'll get over your whole 'no-touchy-touch.' You'll meet a touchy-touch person and have a touchy-touch good time."
-- Dan, to (who else?) Megan the Red

"My dad's outside, my mom's not home: Fuck me."
-- Rob

:: Kellie 5/13/2002 09:10:00 AM [+] ::

"Maybe I want to fill books with my ignorance."
-- Megan Dougherty

:: Kellie 5/09/2002 02:51:00 PM [+] ::

"Little drunken slut who likes to be cold."
-- Dan (of Kellie)

:: Kellie 4/30/2002 12:33:00 PM [+] ::

"That was a whole different 'I want to kill myself...'"
-- Dan

:: Kellie 4/20/2002 12:13:00 AM [+] ::

"That's why Jesus invented shoes."
-- Dan

:: Kellie 4/16/2002 07:03:00 PM [+] ::

"I just shoved a straw through my temple. That is not cool."
-- Dan

:: Kellie 4/05/2002 09:45:00 AM [+] ::

"You don't get to vote because you're not me."
- K@

:: Kellie 4/01/2002 12:52:00 PM [+] ::

"Get some sleep."
"Eat some crackers. Have a baby."
-- Megan and Sarah

:: Kellie 3/29/2002 11:27:00 PM [+] ::

"If I come home pregnant, it's your fault."
-- Sam (to Allison, Megan, and Michelle)

:: Kellie 3/25/2002 09:00:00 AM [+] ::

"OK, I have a story for you. This guy got dickslapped. The end."
-- Dan (imitating Josh)

"We're Germans, and today we started a bakery."
-- Michelle (ask her.)

"So, I'll have teeth."
-- Helena

"Goddammit, I'm being loud again!"
-- Helena

:: Kellie 3/24/2002 10:29:00 AM [+] ::

"She's guessing that they were definitely doing something."
-- My brother Will, sharing some gossip at the dinner table.

:: Kellie 3/20/2002 10:23:00 PM [+] ::

"The average flamingo does not wish to be used as a croquet mallet."
-- Marchette Chute in "Getting at the Truth"

"Daisies aren't red."
"Oh. True dat."
-- Mrs. Moore and Megan T.

:: Kellie 3/19/2002 09:58:00 AM [+] ::

"If you had a hatbox that talked to you, you would keep it."
-- Katie Sebald

:: Kellie 3/12/2002 10:02:00 PM [+] ::

"No wonder people don't eat paper."
--Kellie

:: Kellie 3/07/2002 01:06:00 PM [+] ::

"I met another woman, I'm leaving your mother."
-- Katie Pacilio

"Rae's script is on crack!"
"No, Rae's on crack, and her script is a helpless victim."
-- Michelle Ball & Katie Pacilio

"You're like a white ball of head."
-- Katie Pacilio, to Rob

:: Kellie 3/04/2002 05:42:00 PM [+] ::

"This is in Britain, so suck on that one!"
-- Dan

"Who says that?"
"...People."
"Real people, or like, Doug?"
-- Justin and Kellie

:: Kellie 2/27/2002 12:47:00 PM [+] ::

"Maybe these are new, more logical Camels."
-- Nate

"Hey, you on the floor, stop twitching!"
-- Dan

:: Kellie 2/22/2002 03:01:00 PM [+] ::

"Being a writer is bad."
"As is being a feminist."
-- Michelle and Megan

:: Kellie 2/21/2002 01:12:00 PM [+] ::

"Yeah. Straight females - stupidest demographic ever."
(Hysterical laughter.) "Quotes page!"
-- Kellie and Dan (Sorry about that...)

:: Kellie 2/15/2002 10:43:00 AM [+] ::

Sirithlothien: what would we do with a bunch of drunk snails anyway?
kellie rai: EXACTLY!

:: Kellie 1/30/2002 11:06:00 PM [+] ::

"Boobs! Jesus does not have boobs! You lose!"
-- David Robinson

:: Kellie 1/25/2002 12:38:00 PM [+] ::

"How do you tell someone tactfully that it looks like a gopher died on their chin?"
--Rob Carroll (of the pre-calc teacher with the bad facial hair).

:: Kellie 1/18/2002 12:16:00 PM [+] ::

"Wanna go have sex on the moon?"
--Steph

:: Kellie 1/03/2002 06:37:00 PM [+] ::

"Doug should be here any minute."
"Oh, good. We can rape him."
-- Allison and Cori

:: Kellie 12/31/2001 12:28:00 AM [+] ::

"It's either a porno or a history book."
-- Wild K@

"Careful, careful! Water, pens and clay!"
-- Justin

:: Kellie 12/23/2001 11:27:00 PM [+] ::

"Only freaks like Ann Taulbee eat paint!"
-- Dan

"Do you even have a religion, sweetheart?"
-- Stephanie (to Kellie).

:: Kellie 12/17/2001 07:23:00 PM [+] ::

"When in doubt, don't breathe!"
-- Mrs. Corpus

:: Kellie 12/11/2001 06:54:00 PM [+] ::

"Lick a doorknob."
-- Justin Lomelino's "creative way to spread mono."

"Shouldn't you be using red?"
"...It doesn't matter."
"YOU DON'T MATTER!"
-- Dan and Kellie

"Michelle, put down the pigs."
-- Allison Borst (who meant "Pez.")

:: Kellie 12/04/2001 01:00:00 PM [+] ::

"I want to be a veterinarian because I love children!"
-- Helena (mocking nameless twits)

:: Kellie 11/28/2001 01:38:00 PM [+] ::

"You have no shirt on underneath your shirt!"
-- Megan Dougherty

:: Kellie 11/18/2001 09:56:00 PM [+] ::

"Kellie cackles like a chicken witch."
-- Megan Dougherty

"I am a Venus fly trap with a watermelon ass."
-- Stephanie

"That's so wrong and disturbing... and wrong!"
-- Stephanie

:: Kellie 11/13/2001 08:22:00 PM [+] ::

"Oh my God! That's Meow Mix, not Pepsi!"
"...Shit."
-- Julia and Nate

:: Kellie 11/06/2001 10:25:00 PM [+] ::

"Hey, maybe a magical gypsy decided to give her a soul."
-- Dan (talking about Tea Bag).

:: Kellie 10/27/2001 12:53:00 AM [+] ::

"Where would we get forty bar stools?"
"... ebay."
-- David Robinson and Nate

"Yoo hoo! Men!"
-- Mrs. Corpus

"Hey, you were just marching a minute ago..."
-- Mrs. Corpus

:: Kellie 10/12/2001 01:50:00 PM [+] ::

"...calves straining..."
"Did you say 'calves straining?'"
"...Yeah..."
"That's good, because it sounded like he said 'castrating...'"
-- Doug, Mrs. Clesson, Doug, and Kellie (under her breath)

"I didn't know you were topless!"
-- Dan

:: Kellie 10/07/2001 06:32:00 PM [+] ::

"You can take out your aggression on my ass."
-- David Robinson (to Kellie, after David said that Kellie "didn't care" as much as Josh.)

"This is you as a drunk Tyrannosaurus. GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"
-- Twiggy (you = Kat Helgeson).

"I'm gonna carry around a hoe."
-- Kat Helgeson

"I thought you said Mike Stevens was into Rob."
-- Stephanie



:: Kellie 9/20/2001 05:00:00 PM [+] ::

"He was kind of in your ass..."
-- Stephanie

"Your mom's a Lord! Ohhh!"
-- Dan

"They have a word for that?!?"
-- Nikita (upon learning what "serif" means).

"Because you're a Mormon!"
-- David Robinson (the line is supposed to be, "Because you're a moron!"

:: Kellie 9/18/2001 07:51:00 PM [+] ::

"Oh, are you my Chemistry?"
- Julia

"This is my Michelle, I found her on the beach last year..."
- Nate

:: Kellie 9/12/2001 05:45:00 PM [+] ::

"I'll corn your copia!"
- Dan

:: Kellie 9/11/2001 09:36:00 PM [+] ::

"Stop feeling my breasts with your face!"
- Kat Hayford (to Dan)

"I was 15 when I was your age."
- Kat Helgeson (to Kat Hayford)

:: Kellie 9/06/2001 08:10:00 PM [+] ::

"I think his point was pointless."
- Angela Kuntz

:: Kellie 9/05/2001 09:37:00 PM [+] ::

"Only if I was naked."
"That can be arranged."
- Cori and Justin

:: Kellie 8/22/2001 09:15:00 PM [+] ::

"What do they do to each other in Fight Club?"
"...They fight."
"...With soap?"
- Maria and Kellie

:: Kellie 7/24/2001 06:48:00 PM [+] ::

"The only way you can make it up to me is by having sex with eight women in the next five minutes. Starting... Now!"
"Noooo! Only Steve Vittitoe could do that!"
- Eric and Dan

:: Kellie 7/13/2001 05:13:00 PM [+] ::

"I made him cry and I felt all good about it..."
-- Mike Manjarrez

:: Kellie 6/29/2001 11:12:00 AM [+] ::

"Don't swallow your tongue."
"Too late."
-- Rob and David.

"Okay, stick out your tongue as far as it will go! Egh! Nahw, svallow it! Out! Egh! Svallow it!"
"ECCKKKGAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH..."
"Not literally!"
-- Stick and David.

:: Kellie 6/19/2001 08:54:00 AM [+] ::

"That's because your sister's a freak."
"Yeah. She's a prep."
"I resent that."
-- Rob Carroll, Megan Hannah, and David Robinson.

:: Kellie 6/17/2001 10:12:00 PM [+] ::

"I can't believe you just did that!"
"And with a pink spoon in my mouth."
-- Sarah and Kellie (while Kellie was driving).

:: Kellie 6/14/2001 12:15:00 AM [+] ::

"That's not hea-AAAAALLLLLLLTHYYYYYYYYYYY!"
-- Dan (on the Tilt-a-Whirl)

:: Kellie 6/10/2001 06:01:00 PM [+] ::

"My line! Whatever it is!"
-- Josh

:: Kellie 6/08/2001 08:04:00 AM [+] ::

"I want to be a clock."
-- Stephanie (asleep)

:: Kellie 6/03/2001 08:31:00 PM [+] ::